Losing it
by kitkat2150
Summary: Ben slips into madness after losing a loved one. He keeps seeing her smiling, walking and even talking to him but noone else sees it.
1. Chapter 1

**Set in ultimate alien**

The coffin was lowered down slowly as Ben watched intently. He shut his eyes letting a few tears slide down his face. Broken, defenceless the feeling was felt all around.

'How could I of let this happen' he thought as he turned his head to see the some what small group of people. Just a small group that's all.

A private ceremony with just relatives with only a few friends.

Ben looked up towards Kevin. His eyes where gloomy but he had still conjured enough strength to give Ben the evils. He mimed the words 'this is your fault' towards him as Ben rested his eyes back on the coffin. He could still hear her screams the way she shouted his name. the way she-. He held the bridge of his nose as he brought his hand up to rest on his wrist. 'oh god' he thought to himself.

He could hear a woman screaming in pain as he looked over to Lily with Frank next to her holding her tightly. Max placed a hand on Ben's shoulder as he held his wife. "Its alright son" Max said softly.

Verdona placed a lily ontop of the coffin. Ben stared back down at the coffin as it began to get buried.

"I'm so sorry Gwen" Ben winced his eyes as more tears slid down his face.

FLASHBACK

Roars of fire filled the building as three figures stood alone. "BEN" A redheaded girl screamed as she ran through the building looking for her cousin.

"Gwen we've got to get out of here now" Kevin grabbed her by the arm trying to yank her out of the building. "He'll be fine Gwen" Kevin told her forcing her through the door.

"But-" She began to argue but Kevin forced her more. "He's probably outside" Kevin told her leading her towards the stairs. Fire leaped down the stairs as Kevin and Gwen stared down at it. "Ladies First" Kevin stared down as Gwen gave him the evils. "Fine" Gwen said as she jumped down and shielded herself by a violet force field. "GWEN" Kevin shouted as he gripped absorbed some metal and came down after her.

"watch it" Gwen shouted at him as she duck dived out of the way of Kevin coming crashing down three floors. "sorry Gwen" He coughed. Gwen shielded them both from the smoke as they made it to the front door.

They crashed through the front to find an ambulance with few police officers and civilians. "Ben?" She looked for him but he wasn't anywhere. "Kevin he's not here" Gwen looked over to him with begging eyes. "Stay here I'll be right back" Kevin rolled his eyes running back inside the building as she bit her bottom lip. Before Kevin could reach the door a loud bang could be heard as a cat like creature was thrown onto the streets.

"BEN" Gwen screamed as she ran up to him.

Kevin was starting to get agitated and ran over to them about to scream his head off.

Gwen helped the orange and white cat creature up as he held his head in pain.

"Ben you Okay?" Gwen asked checking on him as Kevin crossed his arms. "He's fine Gwen now can we please go home" Kevin rolled his eyes for the millionth time today. A baby began to wail from inside the building as Ben and Gwen stared at each other. "Oh common" Kevin complained as Ben stared back at him. "SHUT IT KEVIN E. LEVIN" Rath told him getting back up. "GWEN" He shouted to his cousin as she winced from his monstrous wail.

"Yeah" She looked up at him. "I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A HAND" He said as he ran towards the building. She followed him as Kevin just leaned over.

"Oh common" He followed them in. The walls were red and yellow with hints of the wall near collapsing. "GWEN ME A BOOST" Rath yelled to Gwen as he neared the stairs causing Gwen to through a manna disk under his feet giving him a boost in the air.

Gwen placed manna under her feet as she was lifted up. "Hey Guys" Kevin shouted as he stood there.

He breathed out more than mad as he walked out the building ready to shout at them later. Rath (Ben) was busy lifting pillons of wood out the way as Gwen watched him. "DON'T JUST STAND THERE" Rath yelled as she used trendils to remove some of the wood from the doorway. Rath jumped in first racing towards the crib. "IT'S ALRIGHT BABY" He shouted into the baby wrapped in blankets. Gwen walked in after him as he opened part of the blanket checking on the baby. "huh?" Rath stared at it questioningly.

"Ben whats wr- AHH" Gwen was hit in the back as she winced her eyes collapsing to the ground in pain. "Nice to see you again lovely Gwen" He shuttered. "And I see you found my surprise Ben" Darkstar smiled at him as Rath growled dropping the bomb on the ground.

"THIS WAS A TRAP?" Rath questioned him as Darkstar narrowed his eyes.

"Yes you idiot and this place is gonna go off at any second. Better start running Tennyson" Darkstar laughed making him angry. Rath growled and screamed a war cry as he tackled Darkstar out of the window falling 4 stories until he hit the ground then started to beat him to a pulp. "Ben?" Kevin ran up to him as Rath turned to him. "WHAT?" Rath spat at him in that time an explosion went off as the hotel collapsed in on itself. "That was too close" Kevin said as a couple of plumbers hand cuffed Darkstar and led him away into a ship. "Yeah too close" Rath slammed down the ultimatrix turning into his normal human self. "Smoothies?" Ben asked smiling.

"I guess" Kevin shrugged. "where's Gwen" Kevin casually asked as Ben gulped. "oh no" Ben whispered Ben ran over to the collapsed building still on fire. "Ben?" Kevin raced over to him as he stared in shock at the rubble. "where's Gwen?" He asked now a little scared.

"She's around" Ben looked towards the crowd of people. "She's not there" Kevin turned back to Ben who was still searching the crowd. "Where is she Ben?" Kevin narrowed his eyes about to go insane. Ben just turned towards the fire. "No" Kevin whispered eyes widening.

"GWEN?" Kevin shouted as he absorbed some metal covering himself as he began to run into the now ruins searching for her.

"GWEN?" Ben heard him shout again he searched for him.

"oh no" Ben stared in shock as he saw Kevin's shadow picking up another form.

**This is just a prologue of it tell me what you guys think.**


	2. Chapter 2

2 WEEKS LATER

Ben stared down at a picture of his cousin and him when they were 10 smiling. He sat down her bed as Frank packed up another box. He sighed as he placed the box on the bed. "I'm not sure if you wanted any of her stuff Ben" He looked down at the picture.

"take what you want it'll probably just go in the attic otherwise" Frank sighed.

"Thanks uncle Frank" He kept his gaze down on the picture. He looked up for a minute thinking before looking down at the photo. "Keep it" Frank said as he picked the box up. "we've got heaps" He said as he walked out the room towards the attic.

He sighed getting up and placing the photo out of the glass and folding the photo into his coat pocket. He then began to walk out the room but not before tripping a little on a box tucked untidily under Gwen's bed. He bent down and pulled it out. A spell book. Ben looked down at it with curiosity. Strange writing covered it which looked daunting. He tugged at it trying to pull it open but it wouldn't budge. It had a padlock on it. Ben stared at it questioningly. 'why is it locked?' He started intently at the lock. "Ben?" Lily came up. Ben turned round to see the cold eyed woman holding a tissue.

"it's getting late. Do you want a lift home?" Hers eyes watered as she took in her surroundings. He got up and held her shoulders. "no thankyou aunt Natilie" Ben whispered holding the book. "what's that?" She asked curiously.

"Just something that Gwen…." He paused seeing the woman's face as he said the girls name.

He sighed looking down at it. "I hope you don't mind. I just wanted to borrow it for a little while" Ben stared down at it. "keep it" Lily said pulling him in for a hug. "she wont need it anymore" Lily closed her eyes and pulled away. "thanks aunt lily" Ben forced a smile then walked out.

"Ben?" Ben turned round.

"theres some flowers on the side of the table near the door do you mind going over and placing them on her…." She cut herself off as Ben nodded. "thanks dear" Lily said. Ben walked down stairs and picked up the roses.

* * *

GRAVEYARD

Ben toyed with the book as he passed the graves. 'click' the book opened as he stopped right next to Gwen's grave. "huh?" Ben looked down at it curiously. "that's… strange" Ben turned his attention to the head stone. He looked down at the inscription. 'Gwen Tennyson'

"sounds about right" Ben whispered placing the roses down on the grave. The wind fluttered by him as it flipped pages of the book. He looked down at it to see glowing writing. "Creepy" Ben stared down at it. He placed his finger near the words trying to read it "evigilo, expergefacio, excite perduco mei visum" Ben read the words. "Definitely creepy" the words faded on the page. "Definitely Gwen's style" Ben chuckled a little. "Creepy is not my style" a female voice said as Ben looked around trying to find out who said that. "Who said that?" Ben looked over the graves. "Over hear doofus" The voice said as Ben turned his attention back to the grave. "holy sh*t" Ben backed away as he saw his cousin sitting casually on her grave stone. "Hey Cuz" Gwen casually said crossing her legs. "G-G-Gwen?" He stared at her in shock as she gave him a questioning look.

"Yes?" She answered back. She came towards him as Ben backed away into a nearby grave stone. "This cant be happening" Ben stared at her as she placed her hand on her hips. "is that my spell book?" She pointed towards the book that Ben was clutching in his hands. "You're dead" He shook his head. "I'm not dead enough to know you went into my room without permission Ben" She bent over staring daggers towards him.

"Give me my book back Ben" She told him reaching a hand out waiting for him to place it in her hands.

"How are you even talking right now?" He got up and walked away from her. "It's called muscles Ben now my spell book" She walked towards him.

"I-I saw you d-die" Ben shook his head. "I Didn't die" she shook her head not believing him. Ben shook his head as more tears spiralled down his cheeks. Gwen sighed from seeing how upset he was. She gave up arguing and placed her hand out again awaiting to grab the book.

Ben winced his eyes closed and held the book tightly in his grasp.

"y-your not real, your dead" He repeated to himself over and over.

* * *

MORNING

Ben awoke to find a now not so scary graveyard.

"Oh it was just a dream" He smiled as he walked over to the book and picked it up. He whipped his left hand on it removing some of the dirt. 'I think I'm seeing things' he thought as he looked over to Gwen's gravestone.

'That's right just imagining' He looked down at the headstone to see the flowers placed on the grave.

His eyes watered causing him to winced his eyes and use his sleeve to remove the teardrops.

"I miss you so much" He whispered.

"well you didn't seem to miss me last night" A female voice said.

Ben looked around him to find a very mad Gwen.

"Gwen I'm so sorry I was just in shock" He walked over to her but she disappeared.

He turned round to see her but she wasn't there.

"Gwen?" He called out for her but she didn't answer. He held his head.

"Maybe I shook get some sleep" Ben began to walk to his car. He sighed and began walking to his car. He turned round hoping to see his cousin standing there but no such luck. He shook his head and climbed into his car speeding off to the sunrise.

* * *

BEN'S HOUSE

"Bengamin Tennyson where were you?" Sandra placed her hands on her hips as her son walked through the door clutching onto a book.

"Sorry mum I was at the cemetery" Ben said causing Saundra's eyes to soften.

"Alright then but just make sure you ring first before you plan on staying all night there or anywhere" Sandra said causing Ben to nod. "Okay" He said as he walked past her into his room.

He through the door into his room throwing the book onto the floor then jumping onto his bed and placing his hands behind his head closing his eyes. "Finally some sleep" Ben relaxed. "you know I risked my life getting that book off Hex and I still haven't returned it yet" Gwen sat down next to Ben.

"AHH" Ben backed away from her.

"okay this is just an illusion" Ben held his head as Gwen narrowed her eyes. She rolled her eyes. "Ben I'm not an illusion" Gwen crossed her arms and stared daggers towards him. "maybe you've got a fever" She placed her hand on Ben's forehead.

"I HAVENT GOT A FEVER" Ben screamed as a knock at the door silenced him. "Ben?" Max peaked his head through the crack of the door. "you feeling Okay son" Max came over to him as Gwen got up and crossed her arms smiling. Max placed his hand on his grandson's forehead.

"Hey Grandpa Ben thinks I'm dead can you believe that?" Gwen snickered but stopped when Max ignored her. Ben just stared at her as her facial expression went from happy to worried.

"Grandpa?" She walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder trying to get his attention but it just went through.

"Huh?" Her eyes widened as she stared at her hands. Max shivered slightly. "you must have a draft in here or something Ben" Max chuckled trying to lighten the conversation up as Gwen freaked out behind him. "I haven't seen Kevin since the ceremony" Max said. "Have you seen him?" Max asked worried. "No grandpa" Ben said as he watched his cousin placing her hand through the wall. "This is ridicules" She said as she walked over to Max and tried shaking him by the shoulders but her hands just went straight through again. She growled as she went back over to Ben's door attempting to open it. She cringed when she couldn't and dropped to her knees.

"Ben what you looking at" Max followed Ben's gaze to the door but all he saw was a pile of dirty clothes. He raised his eyebrow at him. "nothing Grandpa I just thought I saw something" Ben told him. "Thought you saw. Ben tell grandpa to stop messing around its not funny" Gwen insisted as Ben stared at her. "Grandpa?" Ben looked up at him.

"turn your head" Ben asked him as Max turned towards Gwen. "Okay now what?" Max asked as Gwen bent down a little trying to grab her grandpa's attention. "Don't you see anything" Ben asked causing Max to shake his head. "no Ben what am I supposed to be looking at?" Max asked as Gwen's eyes began to water. "Nothing grandpa" Ben said. "I'm gonna go you should come round mine later we can go fishing" max smiled as he got up. Gwen hugged herself as he left. "Sure thing grandpa" Ben smiled at him as he closed the door. "W-What did you do?" Gwen hissed standing up and growling. "I didn't do anything it's what you did" Ben said as he raised his hands up in the air trying to stop her from going insane. Her eyes began to glow. "I didn't do anything you Have MY Magic Book which MEANS you did something wrong" Ben's light-bulb bursted as well as well as his computer screen.

"Hey" Ben narrowed his eyes at her but stopped when she collapsed to the ground crying.

"Gwen?" He walked over to her placing his hand as well as he could on her shoulder without it going through her.

"Just leave me alone" She whispered turning her head away from him. "You don't remember what happened do you?" Ben looked into her eyes as tears slipped down her cheeks. "W-What happened?" Gwen asked scared. "There was an accident and then there was an explosion and then…" He paused.

"I didn't die" Gwen told him trying to convince herself more. "Gwen when we met on the graveyard whose grave where you sitting on?" Ben asked her as she thought for a moment. "Elena Validus's dad's grave stone?" Gwen said unsure. Ben shook his head. "Gwen that was yours" Gwen looked for Ben's eye to twitch but it didn't she closed her eyes and looked away. "I don't believe you" Gwen whispered as Ben sighed. "common" he said getting up. "where are we going?" gwen asked concerned. "to the Bellwood cemetery" Ben said walking out the door. Gwen decided to follow him as she held herself uneased by the whole situation.

* * *

GRAVEYARD

"there it even says it" Ben pointed to the grave.

"Gwen Tennyson" Ben read the writing as Gwen shook her head. "happy now" Ben said as he looked over to the girl only to find her crying. "Gwen I'm sorry" Ben tried hugging her but he just went straight through her. "Please don't cry" He brought his hand up too her cheek. He could feel a cold water vapour as he touched her. He gulped and took his hand back. "Hey you know what we should do" Ben tried to lighten the situation.

"Go fishing" He patted on her on the back. She gave him a pleading look for a minute. "Ben" She whispered his name. "please wake up" She whispered harshly beginning to cry again. "Gwen I am awake?" Ben said as he looked over to the grave.

"it's you that's not" Ben whispered before turning back to her. "huh?" Ben stared. She's not there.

* * *

FISHING ROCK

"Here Ben" Max passed Ben a fishing rod as his cousin tapped her foot and kept her arms crossed. "Do you think grandma Verdona might be able to see me too?" Gwen asked. "Huh?" Ben turned to face her. "I said do you think Grandma Verdona might be able to see me" She turned to him. "I don't know maybe" Ben said. "Maybe what Ben?" Max stared at him clueless.

"I said maybe we should rent a boat and go into the middle of the lake" Ben said as Gwen rolled her eyes and leaned against the RV. Ben snickered as Gwen fell through. "Not funny Ben" She told him getting up. "Your right Gwen its hilarious" Ben laughed. She growled and crossed her arms. "Ben?" Max placed a hand on his shoulder. "yeah grandpa" Ben said in between laughs.

"You feeling Okay?" He asked genuinely. "Fine Why?" Ben smiled. "You said Gwen?" Max said as Ben just stared at him.

"Yeah I did" Ben shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "you know cause she's usually hear and she's usually a clutz with this stuff" Ben smiled. "Am not" Gwen retorted. "Are two" Ben called back. Max placed his hand on his grandsons forehead. "Grandpa I'm fine. I just…. Miss her that's all" Ben said looking at the ground sadly. "I'm sure she's in a better place now, Ben" Max placed a hand on his back as Gwen rolled her eyes.

"yeah right" She whispered. "common theres a few rocks over there we can fish off" Max pointed to a few large boulders near the lake. Ben smiled and followed his grandpa whilst the redhead trailed along. "Hows you aunt and uncle doing?" Max asked trying to start a conversation. "Uncle Franks taking it on the shoulder" Gwen listened intently.

"Aunt Lily hasn't stopped crying" Ben said as silence grew. Gwen bit her bottom lip. Max sat a bucket of worms down on a rock and placed a grub onto the hook. Ben placed his rod down and began to do the same. He looked over towards where his cousin was standing but she wasn't there. "where'd she go?" Ben whispered. "where'd who go Ben?" Max asked him. Ben shook his head. "No one Grandpa" He forced a smile but Max didn't believe him. He threw his line out and sat down with Max. he smiled at the afternoon sun. "Ben?" a voice called out to him. "Huh?" He turned to see his cousin sitting on the rock next to him. "Holy Sh*t" Ben almost fell over. "Don't do that," Ben said.

"Don't do what" Max helped him back up. "The um fishing rod moved and it scared me," Ben said awkwardly. "….. Alright then" Max turned back to his fishing. "Does any of this seem real to you?" Gwen asked him. He shook his head. There was a silence for a few minutes before she said. "This isn't real"

"Your just imagining it" Gwen said to him. Ben shook his head again. "Then you must be imaginary too" Ben whispered back soft enough so his grandpa couldn't hear. "Maybe" She said. "But I'm not the one talking to a ghost" He was about to argue with her but she just gave him a pleading look. He turned back to the lake. "Maybe I'm the one alive and you died" Gwen said to him.

"How would that even work" Ben whispered. "I don't know. This cant be real right, so what if your in a coma or something or your actually dead and this is how you've interpreted heaven or the next life" Gwen said hugging her knees. "Gwen I really don't think this is a dream. It would be great and all but I know it isn't a dream" Ben whispered to her. "Ben" He looked over to her. "when's the last time we even went fishing with grandpa?" She asked looking concerned. "Gwen this isn't a dream" He shouted at her. "Ben you okay?"

Ben held his head. "Yeah, fine" Ben sighed and watched the time go by.


End file.
